A recent episode of “The Ramsey Show” featured Jonathan from Montana, who called in to ask George Kamel and Dr. John Delony for advice on a complicated financial and emotional dilemma involving his ex-wife, back taxes, and the decision to pursue peace or legal action.
Jonathan explained that during his previous marriage, he and his ex-wife ended up owing the IRS nearly $24,000.
As part of the court proceedings, she agreed to pay half. But almost three years later, she hasn’t paid a cent.
“She filed for an innocent spouse relief, and they denied it due to the fact that she knew full well what she was signing,” Jonathan said.
Now, with the help of his new fiancée, Jonathan has turned his financial life around. “Before I met her, I was well into $120,000 in debt. And to date today, I’ve paid off $77,362,” he said.
He’s almost in a position to write a check and clear the IRS debt himself. The question is: should he?
Justice or Peace?
Kamel and Delony framed the dilemma as a choice between justice and peace.
“I’m hearing a conflict between peace and justice, or peace and ego,” Delony told him.
“The right thing to do is for her to pay her half. No question. The judge hit the gavel, said she owes this. And she hasn’t.”
They discussed what it would take to take her back to court. Jonathan estimated legal fees could run at least $5,000.
Kamel pointed out the emotional cost, too. “Your new wife is going to be like, ‘You’re going to court to see your ex again? Cool. Have fun.'”
Jonathan’s fiancée is supportive of either choice. He emphasized that he’s leaning toward peace but struggling with the feeling that he’s being taken advantage of.
Clearing the Deck
Jonathan also brought up other debts. One was a $1,268 charge from a creditor that refused to validate the debt but took him to court anyway and got a judgment.
Another debt with the same creditor totals $9,866, which he plans to pay off after an upcoming job.
Delony suggested calling the creditor to negotiate: “I’m going to send you $10,500 bucks. Can we just be done with all of this?”
Delony reminded him to keep perspective. “You’re so close to being free. Like you’re unhooking these chains from you and now you’re at the very end and you’re starting to count the chain links and you’re forgetting the big picture.”
Ultimately, Delony summed it up simply: “Me and my house, we try to solve for peace, bro.
Kamel added, “I’d be done with it, man. You’re about to bail yourself out of jail. I wouldn’t be trying to get a shorter sentence on good behavior here, playing this game. Just be done.”
Jonathan left the call still weighing his options, but much closer to a clean slate, and possibly a fresh start. Whether he decides to pursue legal action or not, he’s on the verge of wiping out years of debt.
With the support of his fiancée and a clear plan, he’s focused on building a stable future and leaving the chaos of the past behind.