It seems like everyone is spending money these days like there’s no end in sight. Friends are flying off on spontaneous trips, upgrading their wardrobes, and dining at expensive restaurants like it’s normal.
Meanwhile, I’m budgeting for groceries and deciding whether I can afford a coffee out this week.
That feeling of being left out, financial FOMO, hits hard sometimes.
But over time, I’ve figured out a few ways to stay grounded and not let comparison mess with my peace of mind.
Not Everything Is as It Seems
Social media plays a big role in how we perceive other people’s lifestyles. It looks like everyone is winning, but what we see is just a highlight reel.
One study from the Journal of Judgment and Decision Making found that people tend to overestimate how much disposable income others have based on their visible purchases and lifestyle choices.
The researchers wrote: “Participants, on average, judge the other people … to ‘have more money’ and ‘have more disposable income’ than themselves.”
Just because someone’s showing off a new car or vacation doesn’t mean they can afford it comfortably. I remind myself of that often. We don’t see the debt, the side hustles, or the stress behind the scenes.
Checking In With Myself
Whenever I start to feel behind or left out, I try to pause and figure out where that feeling is coming from.
Am I actually upset that I didn’t take that trip, or am I just reacting to what I saw online? Most of the time, it’s the latter.
When I focus on my own goals, it becomes easier to stay grounded. I want to have an emergency fund, pay down debt, and invest for the future.
That doesn’t always show up on Instagram, but it matters to me.
Redefining What a “Treat” Looks Like
There was a time when I felt like treating myself had to involve spending money. Now, I’ve changed how I think about that.
Treating myself can be taking a long walk in the evening, reading without interruptions, or making my favorite meal at home. It doesn’t have to cost much, and often, it feels more fulfilling.
Being Honest About What I Can Afford
It took me a while to stop trying to match other people’s pace. I used to say yes to every dinner invite and group trip, even if it meant putting things on a credit card. That cycle caught up with me quickly.
Now, I have a monthly line item in my budget for fun. If something falls outside that, I skip it or find a cheaper alternative. I’ve gotten more comfortable saying, “I’m sitting this one out,” and my real friends understand.
Building a Supportive Circle
Surrounding myself with people who also care about financial stability has made a huge difference. A few of my friends and I talk openly about saving, budgeting, and being intentional with our money.
It makes a big difference to have people around who don’t pressure you to spend.
One friend and I do “no-spend weekends” where we hang out, cook, and find free stuff to do. It’s fun, and we both know we’re helping each other stay on track.
Understanding That Life Has Phases
Some seasons are about spending. Others are about saving. A friend of mine recently got a big bonus and used part of it to take a vacation. I’m happy for her, but that doesn’t mean it’s my season to do the same.
I’m in a phase of building right now. And that’s okay.
There will be a time for travel, upgrades, and bigger purchases. For now, I’m focused on getting my finances in shape.
Practicing Gratitude for What I Already Have
When I start to feel like I’m missing out, I make a short list of things I’m grateful for.
It sounds simple, but it helps. I have a roof over my head, food in the fridge, and people I care about.
I may not be flying first class, but I have what I need.
Research from the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley shows that gratitude can reduce materialism and improve financial well-being.
A 2018 article titled “The Science of Gratitude” outlines how practicing gratitude is associated with lower materialism and increased life satisfaction. That lines up with my experience.
Focusing on Long-Term Goals
I remind myself often that I’m playing a long game. Buying everything I want now would feel good temporarily, but it would slow me down.
When I picture what I want in five or ten years—a paid-off car, no credit card debt, a down payment for a home, it’s easier to stay focused.
Every time I choose not to spend impulsively, I’m contributing to that future. That matters more than keeping up with what other people are doing today.
Slowing Down Purchases
When I see something I want, I’ve started giving myself a waiting period. I’ll save it, think about it for a few days, and come back to it later.
Most of the time, I lose interest. If I still want it, I plan for it in my budget and get it without guilt.
This simple habit has saved me a lot of money and regret. It also gives me a better sense of control over my finances.
The Confidence That Comes With Being Prepared
There’s a quiet confidence that comes from knowing I’m prepared. I’ve had unexpected car repairs and medical bills that would’ve wrecked me a few years ago.
Now, thanks to saving and being intentional, I can handle those surprises without panic.
That kind of peace of mind is worth more to me than a flashy purchase. And over time, it builds real confidence, the kind that doesn’t need to be posted online to feel good.
Financial FOMO still shows up sometimes. But I’ve learned to sit with it, question it, and choose what actually supports the life I’m building. That makes all the difference.